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Re: The sex thread - don't be shy!

  • Joined: 4 Nov 2005 22:16
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GothicBabe: That is interesting. And what's even more weird is that...I don't even remember how I came to know about sex. It's just there, a knowledge, and I'd discovered masturbation at a very young age. But that doesn't make me get orgasms any easier I tell you (1/50 chance I'll say). But then again, my hormones act very strangely.

Also, back in primary school (when this topic comes up, like regularly, in fact), I remembered my 'friends' - cough - talking about when they didn't know what sex was. But everyone knew they still had sex drives. So I guess maybe it's just instinct as well. Or maybe we're just very horny people.

Quote:
Kurenai Ryu wrote:
Then there's the whole deity aspect of it, where if you have sex before marriage, you will be eternally damned or forsaken to whatever bad place your religion has (*note: I am not atheist, I just want to cover all my grounds).


Just to add a bit to this (great post btw), I'm a Buddhist, and there is this sort of guidelines we should follow to make merit. Normal civilians have 5, and one of them is actually something similar to 'you must not perform 'wrong' sexual activities'. But then again, what is wrong? If for Christianity, and I'm just saying this out of curiosity because I've been wondering for quite a while, it's pre-marriage sex, but don't people get married around teenage years before? This is honestly curiosity, and it's the same with Buddhism. What is considered unacceptable when it comes to age?
(But we still don't have sex ed. People here like it old-fashioned.)

The strange thing is, because of the lack of knowledge on this area, kids just turn to each other and give each other, sometimes, the wrong information. Thankfully, because of my sister's advices and my own, I was able to help my friend through some problem regarding this but...it just really struck me. We can't turn to our parents either - it is REALLY frowned upon to even think about it, really - that's why I brought this topic up. Sex is still something my friends laugh at as a far-fetched fantasy. I still agree that I was, and am, too young to have sex, but...many of us don't have a clue!

Ah, can I blame the government for this?


And question(s): how do you know if.......well, you're good? It's hard to tell when you're with the guy who's so busy trying to satisfy you that you feel like to have to work harder to satisfy him, whoops.
Also...do boys usually make a lot of noise during sex?? If he doesn't is that a bad sign????

Posted on: 19 Jul 2009 11:34
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Re: The sex thread - don't be shy!

  • Joined: 1 Aug 2005 18:21
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Quote:

phatphan wrote:
And question(s): how do you know if.......well, you're good? It's hard to tell when you're with the guy who's so busy trying to satisfy you that you feel like to have to work harder to satisfy him, whoops.
Also...do boys usually make a lot of noise during sex?? If he doesn't is that a bad sign????


Honestly, I have no idea on that one except hearing it come from someone else's mouth. Then again, I suppose it all depends on who you're with.

And it varies from boy to boy, just like the amount of noise varies from girl to girl.

Posted on: 19 Jul 2009 14:28
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Re: The sex thread - don't be shy!
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  • Most guys are more excited to make sure YOU are having a good time, because it basically gives them bragging rights. If they can make you scream, moan, or make a whole new noise, it turns them on like no tomorrow. TRUST ME.

    Granted, don't lay there motionless - it's better to tell him what you like best, or just show him. Or, if you're really concerned if you're any good...just ask him to lay on his back, because it's all about him for a bit. And then just go for it...and trust me - you'll realize just HOW good you feel to him.

    As to the screaming - a lot of guys are self-conscious about that. They aren't quite as vocal as females are. So don't worry if he's not making much noise. Other guys scream and moan just as much, if not more, than females.

    When in doubt...ask!! ;)

    Posted on: 19 Jul 2009 15:50
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    Re: The sex thread - don't be shy!

    • Joined: 28 Jun 2007 21:59
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    Not exactly about sex, but my question pertains to reproductive systems so I'll throw it in here.

    Why do we (girls) get cramps? I know during that time of the month, there's a shitload of hormonal changes and that's why many of the symptoms occur. For example, I get a horrible mood a week before, my skin is more susceptible to acne, increase in appetite, and my boobs swell (that one is the most awkward to talk about). This all happens before, but I only get the dreaded cramps/lower back pain when the bleeding starts, and I can't really find an explanation for this.

    Does anyone know why? Or is it just one of the mysteries of life?

    Posted on: 19 Jul 2009 20:42
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    Anonymous
    Re: The sex thread - don't be shy!
  • Guest_Anonymous
  • Cramps are the body's way of:

    1. Practicing for contractions
    2. Emptying the uterus of all lining and tissue to make way for the new, healthy tissue that grows once your period is done.

    Posted on: 19 Jul 2009 21:10
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    Re: The sex thread - don't be shy!

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    Okay, this is my first time posting here, so please be gentle.

    I have some thoughts on something not directly related to sex: fetishes. I know we all have our own little thing that gets us 'in the mood,' but what if mine is a little...off the wall? I mean, my fetish is drag. More specifically, men in drag...women just don't do it for me. However, if I see a guy in drag, I get turned on before I know it.

    All of this aside, my question is...is this something I should worry about? I mean, I've been trying my best to get my boyfriend in drag, so that should tell you something.

    Posted on: 22 Jul 2009 21:36
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    Re: The sex thread - don't be shy!
    protege
    • Joined: 20 Jun 2006 14:11
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    QueenForADay - Why worry?

    I was the same way. When I had a boyfriend, I asked him to dress in drag. He did, for short periods of time. In fact, he said it was something he did on his own. Why would drag have such a "following" if lots of other people didn't like it? (Dressing in drag, or watching)

    Everyone has different taste. Some people like it, some people don't, just like anything else, and it's not hurting anyone, so I wouldn't worry. :)

    Posted on: 9 Aug 2009 20:21
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    Re: The sex thread - don't be shy!

    • Joined: 21 Jan 2008 18:28
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    OK -- I honestly never thought I'd post here, but something came up today. I was reading a list on cracked.com about the strangest sex toys, and I stumbled on another list about it. Before I knew it, I was on a japanese or asian or something online sex store. Aaand, I think I have an S&M fetish. Because, most of the things on there (Cucumber vibrators, anyone?) made me laugh -- but when I looked down at the little S&M sidebar, I ended up looking through that and just . . . wow. This shit excites me for some reason. Like, I can actually imagine something happening.

    But there's another thing. It's really, really weird. The first thing I thought about wasn't kinky sex . . .

    It was writing. Writing potential fanfiction, more accurately. Especially when I saw this. I'm not really sure if this is creepy or not. The entire thing and idea both unsettle me and excite me. Just thought I'd get that out here. This is awkward to me because I'm way too young (in my opinion) to be having sex or thinking about fetishes. (Scratch that last one -- I can think about whatever the hell I want, I 'spose.)

    ETA:

    Crap, now that I've looked some stuff up, it's more like a BDSM (Bondage/Disipline/Sadomasochism) Fetish. That actually makes it a little more and a little less creepy -- having a full worded name for it.

    Posted on: 19 Aug 2009 0:26

    Edited by Lotte Liechen! on 19 Aug 2009 0:29:49
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    Anonymous
    Re: The sex thread - don't be shy!
  • Guest_Anonymous
  • I'm gonna put this out there for a few different people that have talked about fetishes and whatnot:

    Who cares? If it works for you, then go for it. If you let go of the worry that you'll be judged and stereotyped, then there's a whole big world out there waiting for you. Also, if they're selling it, there's a reason--a lot of people buyit. Most people don't have the guts to admit things about themselves, and the fact that young people, especially girls in this society, are being honest about what they want, what they like... It just makes me all warm and fuzzy inside, and worry just a little less about the younger generation.

    Posted on: 19 Aug 2009 11:33
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    Re: The sex thread - don't be shy!

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    Quote:

    Mistress Infamous wrote:
    Cramps are the body's way of:

    1. Practicing for contractions
    2. Emptying the uterus of all lining and tissue to make way for the new, healthy tissue that grows once your period is done.




    Another reason is that the muscles "down there" are working hard to empty the uterus, causing cramps (see Misstress Infy's reason #2). Thought I'd add that.

    Posted on: 19 Aug 2009 12:56
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    Re: The sex thread - don't be shy!

    • Joined: 27 Apr 2007 11:22
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    I wonder if it's been brought up in this thread before, but what are everyone's views on pornography? Do you watch it?Is it good or bad, should we feel guilty about viewing it, or is the porn industry just another business? I thought I'd ask about it in this thread, please share your views.

    Posted on: 8 Nov 2009 12:06
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    Re: The sex thread - don't be shy!

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    Quote:

    Jedd the Jedi wrote:
    I wonder if it's been brought up in this thread before, but what are everyone's views on pornography? Do you watch it?Is it good or bad, should we feel guilty about viewing it, or is the porn industry just another business? I thought I'd ask about it in this thread, please share your views.


    I found this to be a very insightful article on the subject of pornography: http://www.time.com/time/2004/sex/art ... rn_factor_in_the_01a.html

    Despite the “porn” horror stories that I have become intimately involved with through the course of my profession, I tend to still have somewhat of a liberal viewpoint regarding healthy, non-aggressive sexual outlets as I feel that stringent pastoral and insular attitudes about sex oftentimes run contrary to our base human nature and can, therefore, create an atmosphere of repression and a slew of other issues. *coughERIKcough*.

    Posted on: 8 Nov 2009 14:37
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    Re: The sex thread - don't be shy!
    Phanatic
    • Joined: 19 Dec 2004 6:37
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    I have mixed feelings about pornography.

    I don't think there's anything wrong with porn, per se. There's nothing remotely wrong with enjoying images of people engaged in sexual activity, any more than there is in reading sex scenes, or using your imagination.

    I think the problems are more to do with how society relates to pornography, and what it reflects. A lot of mainstream porn perpetuates damaging body image values, and reinforces the attitude that women are objects for men's sexual use and enjoyment.

    That doesn't mean porn has to be bad. You can get porn that doesn't reflect and reinforce these values. It's just not the mainstream, and that means that a lot of mainstream porn can have a very negative effect on individuals and on society.

    Posted on: 8 Nov 2009 17:32
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    Re: The sex thread - don't be shy!
    Archangel
    • Joined: 21 Feb 2005 13:26
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    Quote:

    Madam Masquerade wrote:
    Quote:

    Jedd the Jedi wrote:
    I wonder if it's been brought up in this thread before, but what are everyone's views on pornography? Do you watch it?Is it good or bad, should we feel guilty about viewing it, or is the porn industry just another business? I thought I'd ask about it in this thread, please share your views.


    I found this to be a very insightful article on the subject of pornography: http://www.time.com/time/2004/sex/art ... rn_factor_in_the_01a.html

    Despite the “porn” horror stories that I have become intimately involved with through the course of my profession, I tend to still have somewhat of a liberal viewpoint regarding healthy, non-aggressive sexual outlets as I feel that stringent pastoral and insular attitudes about sex oftentimes run contrary to our base human nature and can, therefore, create an atmosphere of repression and a slew of other issues. *coughERIKcough*.


    Oh no, Madam Masquerade, you *would* drag Poor Erik into this!

    If I took pornography seriously I'd never want to look at myself or my partner again.... magazines and films set up physical ideals that are .... difficult to live up to for the average person. Just like fashion magazines and films, I guess.

    Posted on: 8 Nov 2009 18:43
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    Re: The sex thread - don't be shy!

    • Joined: 4 Nov 2005 22:16
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    Ah, after such a long absence! I'm sorta back high school is so much work...

    Ok guys a question: my friend had been going out with her boyfriend for 11 months now and, after 6 months of not seeing each other, they want to do it for the first time. Now my friend is smart, and she worries about it: she wants to eliminate any chacne of pregnancy.

    She's thinking of taking contraceptive pills, using the condom and the morning after pill...all three.

    Now question: is there such thing as over-protection? How bad would the consequences be if she takes both pills? Is it too much?
    She knows the rubber is a must but she still cannot decide about the pills. She's a teenager so no bodily damage please. But still, slimmest possible chance of pregnancy.


    Help?

    Also - tips on BJs? Apparently I'm no good at them (although I'm gradually, ahem, improving...)...and why does cum taste to bad, cheeeeeze! Is there a way to make them any better? I heard really sweet/sour fruits...

    Posted on: 10 Nov 2009 9:00
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    Re: The sex thread - don't be shy!

    • Joined: 15 Jun 2005 2:07
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    Quote:

    phatphan wrote:
    Ah, after such a long absence! I'm sorta back high school is so much work...

    Ok guys a question: my friend had been going out with her boyfriend for 11 months now and, after 6 months of not seeing each other, they want to do it for the first time. Now my friend is smart, and she worries about it: she wants to eliminate any chacne of pregnancy.

    She's thinking of taking contraceptive pills, using the condom and the morning after pill...all three.

    Now question: is there such thing as over-protection? How bad would the consequences be if she takes both pills? Is it too much?
    She knows the rubber is a must but she still cannot decide about the pills. She's a teenager so no bodily damage please. But still, slimmest possible chance of pregnancy.


    Help?

    Also - tips on BJs? Apparently I'm no good at them (although I'm gradually, ahem, improving...)...and why does cum taste to bad, cheeeeeze! Is there a way to make them any better? I heard really sweet/sour fruits...


    I heard that you have to take the pill for a while (few weeks or months maybe) before it becomes fully active...you (or your friend) might need to check up on that...

    As for your last question...I read somewhere (I can't remember which book or article) that smoking makes the taste of it worse...and if the guy eats lots of watermelon or drinks lots of pineapple juice or similar fruit juices it makes it taste better..though I'm just quoting what I read about it...also I'm not sure how the idea of safe sex fits into this: some even say that during a BJ the safest thing for the couple is when the guy wears a condom...apparently there are flavoured condoms being sold to make it more fun for people...

    Posted on: 10 Nov 2009 9:10

    Edited by GothicBabe on 10 Nov 2009 9:14:50
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    Re: The sex thread - don't be shy!

    • Joined: 4 Nov 2005 22:16
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    Quote:

    GothicBabe wrote:
    Quote:



    I heard that you have to take the pill for a while (few weeks or months maybe) before it becomes fully active...you might need to check up on that...


    Is it that we take it on the first day of our period, and for the rest of the month until the next one?

    Posted on: 10 Nov 2009 9:15
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    Re: The sex thread - don't be shy!

    • Joined: 15 Jun 2005 2:07
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    Quote:

    phatphan wrote:
    Quote:

    GothicBabe wrote:
    Quote:



    I heard that you have to take the pill for a while (few weeks or months maybe) before it becomes fully active...you might need to check up on that...


    Is it that we take it on the first day of our period, and for the rest of the month until the next one?


    I just looked on the net about this and there seems to be lots of contradictory info (some sites say the pill becomes fully active a month after starting to use it, some sites say it becomes fully active after 7 days)...but I do remember that one of my friends told me...before she first started being sexually active with her boyfriend (she was a virgin before that), her doctor told her to take the pill for a while before it became fully active...I think the best thing for you or your friend is to ask a doctor about this..general practitioners (GPs) usually know about those kinds of things...

    Posted on: 10 Nov 2009 9:27

    Edited by GothicBabe on 10 Nov 2009 9:29:44
    Edited by GothicBabe on 10 Nov 2009 9:32:04
    Edited by GothicBabe on 10 Nov 2009 9:35:39
    Edited by GothicBabe on 10 Nov 2009 9:37:52
    Edited by GothicBabe on 10 Nov 2009 9:39:54
    Edited by GothicBabe on 10 Nov 2009 9:42:15
    Edited by GothicBabe on 10 Nov 2009 9:44:31
    Edited by GothicBabe on 10 Nov 2009 9:46:52
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    Anonymous
    Re: The sex thread - don't be shy!
  • Guest_Anonymous
  • Oral contraceptive: It varies from brand to brand, and the dosage amount. Just ask her to consult with her doctor; some take as little as a week, some take a whole menstrual cycle to become fully active. It really just depends.

    Condoms are honestly not a bad idea if she hasn't been on birth control very long. There are some, like a low dose pill which are increasingly popular, where if you don't take it at the same time of day within an hour, it's not effective.

    There have been vast improvements in 'the morning after' pill, but I am here to tell you: That shit is miserable. That's really something one would wish to avoid if at all possible. It's also pretty hard on your body, and can interfere with your birth control schedule.

    In general, guys that eat more fruits have better tasting semen. Part of it also just depends on the guy. Keeping mints/gum handy is a good idea. As for the actual 'BJ'... Again, it varies from guy to guy. Just relax, and don't over-think it. You don't have to be able to deep throat for hours on end to be awesome at oral sex.

    Posted on: 10 Nov 2009 11:22
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    Re: The sex thread - don't be shy!
    Phanatic
    • Joined: 19 Dec 2004 6:37
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    Condoms are a good idea with oral contraceptives not only as a back-up, but because they protect against STDs.

    Taking the "morning after" pill as well seems unnecessary, though.

    Posted on: 10 Nov 2009 15:32
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    Re: The sex thread - don't be shy!

    • Joined: 15 Jun 2005 2:07
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    OK I have a question...might sound strange, but...is it possible for someone to be into sub/Dom to a certain extent, but not be into S&M at the same time? For example if someone had some dreams (during early teenage years) about being tied up and then seduced (sub/Dom?), but no pain etc (S&M) inflicted on him or her at the same time,...I know usually people who are into sub/Dom are into S&M as well, so my question might sound strange...please be respectful/kind when answering this...I don't post on this thread very often...

    GBB

    Posted on: 14 Nov 2009 8:39

    Edited by GothicBabe on 14 Nov 2009 8:43:58
    Edited by GothicBabe on 14 Nov 2009 8:45:23
    Edited by GothicBabe on 14 Nov 2009 8:47:44
    Edited by GothicBabe on 14 Nov 2009 8:49:07
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    Anonymous
    Re: The sex thread - don't be shy!
  • Guest_Anonymous
  • GBB, it is absolutely possible to engage in a sub/dom relationship without the physical punishment. Some masters use emotional or mental pain as a means of control.

    Mostly, it's a matter of mindset: If one enjoys submitting, and they have a partner that enjoys dominating, then it's really as simple as that. There absolutely is no Rulebook of Kink that demands that if one wishes to be a subby, one must also enjoy being flogged within an inch of their lives.

    I think that most people have fantasies to some extent about being tied up--as a society, we're forced into controlling every single aspect of our lives, and giving up that control can be very liberating.

    Posted on: 14 Nov 2009 12:56
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    Re: The sex thread - don't be shy!

    • Joined: 15 Jun 2005 2:07
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    Quote:

    The Mistress wrote:
    GBB, it is absolutely possible to engage in a sub/dom relationship without the physical punishment. Some masters use emotional or mental pain as a means of control.

    Mostly, it's a matter of mindset: If one enjoys submitting, and they have a partner that enjoys dominating, then it's really as simple as that. There absolutely is no Rulebook of Kink that demands that if one wishes to be a subby, one must also enjoy being flogged within an inch of their lives.

    I think that most people have fantasies to some extent about being tied up--as a society, we're forced into controlling every single aspect of our lives, and giving up that control can be very liberating.


    Thanks for replying

    What if someone doesn't like experiencing and causing pain (physical, mental and emotional pain), but finds the idea of being tied up (and seduced) exciting and finds the situation (of their partner being tied up and helpless) exciting...and maybe for that reason that person also feels attracted to people/characters who are powerful and dangerous (though frightened by those people/characters at the same time)...does it mean that this person is into sub/Dom without the S&M aspect? Or not into sub/Dom at all?

    Sounds like a strange question I know...

    Posted on: 14 Nov 2009 21:18

    Edited by GothicBabe on 14 Nov 2009 21:20:54
    Edited by GothicBabe on 14 Nov 2009 21:23:01
    Edited by GothicBabe on 14 Nov 2009 21:26:15
    Edited by GothicBabe on 14 Nov 2009 21:27:58
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    Anonymous
    Re: The sex thread - don't be shy!
  • Guest_Anonymous
  • Anyone that likes to submit is a Sub. It can be either temporary or a constant thing. It's less to do with pain, and more to do with mindset. The punishment is usually associated with that sort of thing, it's true, but it's not a requirement...which was sort of my rambling point up thar^.

    Posted on: 14 Nov 2009 21:29
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    Re: The sex thread - don't be shy!

    • Joined: 15 Jun 2005 2:07
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    Quote:

    The Mistress wrote:
    Anyone that likes to submit is a Sub. It can be either temporary or a constant thing. It's less to do with pain, and more to do with mindset. The punishment is usually associated with that sort of thing, it's true, but it's not a requirement...which was sort of my rambling point up thar^.


    OK thanks for explaining

    BTW...is there anyone who doesn't think this picture is totally hot:

    David Bowie from 'The Man Who Fell to Earth':
    Open in new window

    Posted on: 14 Nov 2009 21:46

    Edited by GothicBabe on 14 Nov 2009 21:54:28
    Edited by GothicBabe on 14 Nov 2009 21:56:15
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