Tore, I normally don't go to this thread much, and I'm a rather blunt person, so I'm sorry if my advice seems...brash.

I've been verbally and physically abused. I'm the sort of person who isn't comfortable talking about it, but typing it online doesn't bother me. Maybe your friend is the same way? She's sounds like she could use to throw a MAJOR bitch fit, and she has every reason to. From your post, it does seem to be that she's repressed her own needs. Sometimes approaching a person honestly and getting concerns out in the open is the best way to go. If you don't want to do that - maybe you can ask her to do something for herself, but tell her to do it because YOU want her to. That way she'd be helping herself while still pleasing you. I guess it would be baby steps, but hey, at least that's getting somewhere.

Ahh... ALL my friends are out of town, and I can't even contact them. Why do people go on vacation for... 12 weeks and stuff like that? I mean, it would end up a bit boring to be a tourist in a place for so long!
My best friend's dog died and she went on a tropic island with her family to forget about him, my other friend S is in Italy, and my other friend N is going to Thailand for two weeks! And then to Constantinople!
I have only...4 friends, I think. And about 4 good acquintances. I'm not asking for anyone to not go on holidays to spend time with me, but I need a friend to keep me sane and stable. Last night, out of boredom, I learnt how to HULA DANCE from an old instructional VHS tape I found.
Even if my friends were here, I would not be lonely, but they wouldn't understand what I mean by this.
Also, my older sister is going to 4 Greek Islands, to Island and Filand, and she has already gone to Germany (she returned a month ago). She's crazy, but she could've helped me a bit.

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Thankyou Wide-Eyed! I'm really sorry you've been abused as well. I luckily never had to deal with such a thing, but I imagine it to be absolutely dreadful and I couldn't really resent anyone who has suffered from it to grow up as a real b*tch to be honest.
I'll definitely try to somehow make her do something for herself like you suggested! Perhaps I'll somehow be able to reach something like that.

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TuggyistheMann, I know how you feel exactly. My man is in another country, and he can't be here when I need him the most. I don't get to see him but once every now and then; we're talking years. After this next trip back home, it will be another 2-3 years before I will see him again.

Random sad, reproachful rant. Ignore, but I gotta let out my feelings like all must. XD


He's such a stupid kid. I love him so much, but I know he's got a lot of faults and is wrong for me. So why does it feel like its tearing me apart when he doesn't want me like I do him? Rage and jealousy when he talks of how the girls who say they love him hurt him... and how he comes back to see me and there's scars I've never noticed last time and he just says "Rough times" when I ask how they got there and ignores them like it doesn't matter that he hurts himself when under too much stress. That it doesn't matter if he dies, but it would if I died. Don't you get it? If you died, it would matter to me! If you were gone, you know how much pain it would cause? People DO care if you died! Sure, people would care if I died, yes, but it wouldn't be as sorrowful because I know where I'm going. I don't know where you're going. If I die before you in life, how do I know you'll be there with me when I get there? I'm sad, but also so scared for him. I can't take you with me out of our stupid, awful, dangerous city because you love your freedom. But you need someone there for you. Everything you do points to your desire for people to love you, despite everything you are. And I love you!
Those girls, all of them, that you just say "yes" to because you think they all deserve a chance...they don't love you! If they did, they wouldn't be cold to you when in front of everyone. If they loved you, they wouldn't refuse to let you kiss them when they're in front of another dude. If they LOVED you they wouldn't flirt with other men right in front of your face! I'm begging you. Put a limit on who you let in at least. Stop believing that there's good in everyone because sometimes it's too late for them to show any kindness! It's just licking each others' wounds...no one's helping each other! Not really! Not moving on to a better point!
If you need someone, you know I'm there. You tell me almost everything. I'm your best friend. You say I'm special and that you wouldn't be around if it wasn't for me and another. But I'm not special to you. If I was special, you wouldn't give other girls who you admit are below me and worthless a chance with you! How many times I've clutched the phone when you tell me your pain, how many times I want to shake you and scream at you "I LOVE YOU" when you say no one does.
But I won't say it because you don't want it. I'm not your type of girl, but I love you so much. I know it wouldn't work between us and I know you don't love me, but... gosh, do I love you. And it's not a logical love. But I'm not blinded by my love because I know your faults. I know you're not perfect and I know your hurts.
Please, don't hurt yourself. Stop saying your worthless. Because I can't bear it. I won't hear about you being sad, I won't stand to have you depressed! Because every tear you might shed, I have "cried a thousand in remorse".
Why won't you love me?
Do you realize, that your other keeping you around...I told her to text you. She said: "Oh! I never thought of talking to him!" Even though she had your number. That's why you guys talk now. Because you said you were still lonely.
What do I say to get your attention? What do I say to turn you away from the worthless people you allow into your life, despite every hurtful thing they do? I miss you. It's never enough when I see you, no matter how many hours. You're so stupid but I love you so much! It hurts when you tell me of the other girls...and all because I know that they don't love you, and that I wish in my deepest heart that it was me and you, not you and her.
Why is having at least one person who loves you unconditionally, who does all she can to help you be happy, not GOOD ENOUGH? I'm sad! I'm so sad, I cry out silently in pain! Because every time you say things, all of them echo back to me "Because your care and your love...isn't enough for me."
Just be happy. I'd be happy if you were only happy...and real happiness. If it's with me, I could die happy. If it's with someone else...please let that woman deserve your love, okay? because I can't see you hurt anymore. No more.

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You can talk to me if you like. I know we've never really talked before, but I'm also pretty bored right now, so I wouldn't mind talking.

Now its 2 days since I left Paris after living there for a year. And as if that alone is not enough 3hours before I went to the airport I broke up with my boyfriend. But the evening before everything was perfect. We went to a bar near the Champs Elysees and had a drink, he had a birthday present for me. And later he told me that my birthday is not the only anniversaire but that its exactly 4 month since we started dating. I didn't even remember that. Than the next night, we decided to try the long distance realationsship, we talked a lot that last night. The last thing I remember is that I told him that he could tell me in the morning if he changed his mind about us. And guess what, he did just that. I even understand him, its nicer and easier to have the person you love near you but why did he behave that way the evening before. Why those little presents, why did he remember our anniversaire and why did he make the suggestion to try a realationship even if we are serveral kms apart? He knew that I would leave. I think my mind would be more at peace if I knew his motives behind this.

And than, of course, to all this mess comes the part that I left Paris behind. I miss it already, and its only 2 days. I feel so at home in Paris. I will do everything to be able to work there when I have finished my studies in 3 years.
At the moment I am living again at my moms, and it is so very strange. I wasn't here for one year and everything is so changed, I dont feel like I belong here anymore. I hope I will feel better when I move to the university in september.

I know this isn't as bad as some as everyone elses posts. But it is mildly depressing all the same.

My computer has an awful virus, it will not let me on this site, or any other for that matter of fact. When I talk to my friends on msn it suddenly closes and sends my friends dodgy links by someone that I don't know.

Even worse, to get on the Internet I now have to use my iPod touch. Which basically means that from now on I have to do everything on a tiny little device that has poor battery life.

My dad says that I might get a new laptop. So I asked my mum whether I can get a new one and she said I had to wait until Christmas. I know that isn't too bad but I can't use another computer until ... Christmas...

Also, my family is breaking apart. My parents are constantly arguing with me and shouting. They say I waste time playing the piano; singing, writing. I think they don't even want me to audition for glee club this year. It hurts, to know that I am trying so hard to reach for the stars and to be dragged back to reality again.

All I need right now is a nice fluffy blanket, and a hug from you guys.

All my sympathy to the rest of you here as well. *Hugs everyone* If anyone would like to talk, PM me.

I am here for you guys, I love you all!

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*sends a virtual hug* Good luck for sorting out the computer stuff and for everything else in your life

*hugs back* Thank you, that means alot to me.

~MissXChristineXDaae~, I won't quote to save some space, but that really sucks. Not so much the computer thing, but your parents not wanting you to follow your hopes. The only thing that needs is your father wanting you to join his business, and you've got a Disney musical. (Sorry, not very comforting. Just a thought. ) Anyway, heres a hug. *hug* and a blanket. *sends blanket*. Take care!

TheCrackedMirror:

Thankyou for the support *huggles blanket* My parents aren't trying to be mean. I think they are just trying to face the facts.

Look at it like this:
Look at all of the people who audition for American Idol (Gah! I hate that show with a passion, it's the only example I can think of though) Think of all of those people who audition, and only one person gets the contract.

I'm nothing special either. My parents have never told me once that I was alright at singing. I think they are just using the nicest way to tell me that I won't get anywhere.

They have a point I suppose...

Oh god, sorry for the triple post. My iPod was acting up again.

Sorry again for the posts. I just thought that I might as well edit this post as well to not waste any space. I was just going to let you guys know that my computer is getting fixed tomorrow. That means I probably won't have to use my iPod for this site again. Yay!

I'm feeling sad, for something silly: I have been on youtube for two years, and I have only 2 subscribers, yet, I get great comments on whatever I post- and I don't know what I'm doing wrong! It makes me sad and I feel bad...

I'm on YouTube too! Right now I have 106 subscribers. What you need to do is ask people at the end of your videos to comment, rate and subscribe. Do video requests, give the audience what they want. I've been on YouTube for two years, and look how far I've got! Just take your time and make the best videos you can! You know what, if you give me your usename I will subscribe to you!

Good luck!

Oh, Thank you so much ~MissXChristineXDaae~! I don't want to publically give out my username, though!

~MissXChristineXDaae~, I'm glad your computer's getting better!

You do have a point about your parents. I hope this doesn't sound too corny, but keep going! I'm sure you'll get somewhere. One thing that helps, if you haven't already done this is to film yourself singing or something so that you hear your voice as others hear it. Take care!

~TheCrackedMirror

Quote:It helps if you remind yourself that you could be in a position where you'd never get to hold each other in your arms.

What I wouldn't give to even have a glimmer of hope that we'd ever get as far as you two are now. Sister girl, you IS lucky.

I didn't do anything bad- yet, you make me feel as if I'm embarassed and sad and horrible- yes, you make me feel embarassed! I feel like a complete loser right now, just because of it. It's hurtful. I'm very sad right now... and for my anger issues right now, I'll write about them in the anger thread.

Even though I truly just...hate it when guys will date a girl just because she said she likes him... sometimes I wonder if I would take that chance with him, just so I could be with him and proove I'm better. Maybe it's just a sick fancy.
But I don't like sitting around with couples. It hurts to see them so happy and in love with one another and sharing the feeling mutually between them... and here I am contemplating that it'd be okay to be with him even if he doesn't love me back.
What a pathetic thought.