All Posts (MarySkater)
Re: ERIK - Animated Film Script |
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DeadParrot, if you plan to submit this anywhere, either for a competition or to a professional film maker, I really think you need to improve the layout. The way you have posted it here, it is difficult to read. We can't really "ignore bad spelling and grammar" because, for example, when you type "is" instead of "his," it breaks the flow for the reader who has to pause and work out what you meant.
I believe it is correct in a script to use capitals for the names of characters. You do this sometimes but not consistently. As shown here, there is no way to distinguish between speech and description. Again, the reader has to work it out. This forum allows you to use italics. It would have been better to use italics for description. The plot is reasonable, but it has a few things I find unlikely. The main one is, you imply that Erik has been captive in the circus for 10 years, brutally ill-treated. Yet after the fight, he escapes in a matter of seconds. If it was so easy to escape, he'd have done it long ago. I can think of two possible ways to re-structure this: 1) Have the 10-years-after meeting between Erik and Alain somewhere other than a circus, when Erik is free. He might hold out his wrists showing scars, and say something like "A childhood in chains, because of you." 2) If it's in the circus, have Erik hurt in the struggle. It's good the way he says "Even," but if he then lapsed into a coma, in such a way that the owners thought him dead, they might dump the "body." Later, he revives and is then free. Sorry if this is rather negative. I admit I have no direct knowledge of film-making. I just feel that if you want a piece of writing to be taken seriously, it's better to present it as well as possible. Good luck. Mary
Posted on: Yesterday 5:34:10
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Re: Just how "hideous" was Erik? |
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I had started to answer this (Winnie, there are no footnotes in Ribiere) but the Countess was there ahead of me.
For reference, this link: http://fr.wikisource.org/wiki/Le_Fant ... e_de_l%E2%80%99Op%C3%A9ra takes you to an online copy of the novel in French. Mary
Posted on: 18 May 9:34:52
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Re: Just how "hideous" was Erik? |
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Quote:
It's interesting how translations vary. I couldn't place this line, so I checked it in my Ribiere translation (where it is chapter 24). The scene is where Erik tells Christine that they can look into the torture chamber if he turns out the light in the room they are in. And the Ribiere version of the line is, "You're surely not afraid of the dark with your dear husband by your side." In the other version of the quote, out of context, "little husband" sounded contemptuous to me, and I wondered if it was Erik making a reference to Raoul. Now I understand what he's really saying, but next time I read the book through, I'll have to watch out for any time he refers to himself as "little." It might work in French, but it doesn't ring true to me in English. Mary
Posted on: 18 May 1:40:02
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Re: Just how "hideous" was Erik? |
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Interesting topic, but how would it relate to Leroux's statement?
"with an ordinary face, he would have been one of the most distinguished of mankind! He had a heart that could have held the empire of the world;" To paraphrase Shakespeare, was Erik born evil, or was evil forced upon him?
Posted on: 12 May 9:31:32
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Re: Copyright discussion |
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Hi Di, The main thing I'd have to change in my story to avoid treading on ALW's toes is that I wrote my Erik as having the one-sided deformity. But that could be amended, and I'm thinking about it. (I'd also need to not use my avatar image as a logo for the novel, same reason.) When mesadallas first suggested that I make a novel of my story, copyright was the first question on my mind. I put the matter aside at the time, but this thread has made me think about it again. Fortunately the structure of my story is such that not much is straight from the stage show, and what there is could be disguised. On the whole I think I'd be happier if I didn't have to worry that RUG might someday have a purge of commercial material borrowed/ stolen from them. (I've heard they're pretty quick about deleting pirate videos from YouTube.) A lot of commercial producers are laid-back about fan fiction because no money is involved, but things self-published through the Amazon system have to be sold, not given away, so it's a whole new game. Mary
Posted on: 12 May 4:34:32
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Re: Copyright discussion |
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I have a Phantom story which I'd like to self-publish. It does contain some elements from the ALW version, which I want to retain. My inclination is not to ask permission - because this invites the answer "no". I have read at least one other self-published novel which uses more ALW material than I intend to, so I'm not alone. Probably I will include a preface mentioning Leroux, the fact of many other versions of the story, and a grateful acknowledgement to the stage show for some striking images which I have borrowed. Thus making it free advertising for the ALW version.
My other tactic is to set a very low price on my novel, and to keep good records of any profits I may make from it. If ever a legal issue arises, I will simply hand over to RUG any money I have made. I doubt if they would pursue it beyond that. And I'm not really looking to make money on this, I just want to circulate my story to a wider audience. If I were seriously trying to generate income, then I would check copyright issues much more carefully, and probably remove from my story any elements which were demonstrably ALW-based, such as the half-mask. Mary
Posted on: 11 May 0:31:34
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Re: A plus-sized Christine? |
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There's a wide range of shapes and sizes which can look attractive on the right woman. But one limiting factor for stage Christine is that she has to look like a ballerina and be able to dance on point. That needn't stop her being curvy, but depending on your definition of "plus-size," it's a consideration.
Another thing about London Christines: when she faints during MOTN, the Phantom catches her as she falls and carries her across the stage. So her body weight becomes an issue. Okay for a curvy five-foot-two, or a willowy five-foot-eight, but a curvy five-foot-eight might make life difficult for the Phantom. Incidentally, that shows that there are bodily requirements for the Phantom too, not particularly size or shape, but a degree of physical strength. Mary
Posted on: 30 Apr 12:39:50
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Re: Sherlock Holmes - The Purists' Thread |
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I agree, and thanks for posting, CRP. Looking at those two images, I can't help wondering if Jeremy practised with a mirror...  Mary
Posted on: 13 Apr 8:58:15
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Re: Marcus Lovett Answers Fan Questions on PotO |
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Marcus is currently the Phantom in London, performing at Her Majesty's Theatre, the show's original home.
Posted on: 11 Apr 23:04:13
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Re: Marcus Lovett Answers Fan Questions on PotO |
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stillphosphor, thanks for the link. That was very interesting. And it's "public," in that I could read it even though I'm not a Facebook member. (Some FB pages are not accessible to non-members.)
It's often pointed out that ALW Phantom has no name, but clearly he's "Erik" to Marcus. Mary
Posted on: 11 Apr 3:55:19
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Re: The crazy/random/hyperactivity thread! For those who are hyper and random! |
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Quote:
Not just schedules. Some of us are in different time zones. I do most of my browsing in my evening, when most of North America is at work or in class. I usually do a quick web check over breakfast, which is when I catch up with American evening browsers. Mary
Posted on: 11 Apr 1:02:37
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Re: Did Christine love Erik? |
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I would say that he was saved and died a better person, not because of what Christine may or may not have felt, but because in the last instance it was Erik who loved Christine, loved her enough to be unselfish. Mary
Posted on: 6 Apr 13:01:16
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Re: Problem Threads - notify us here |
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A new member started a thread enquiring about The Fifth Cellar:
http://www.phantomoftheopera.com/modu ... id=719768#forumpost719768 Maybe this could be merged with the existing thread in the Compositions forum, to keep all the info together. Mary
Posted on: 3 Apr 12:03:54
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Re: Fifth Cellar Registration Issue |
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There have been problems with The Fifth Cellar for a while. If you want to discuss it, it's better to add to the existing thread, here:
http://www.phantomoftheopera.com/modu ... p?topic_id=12176&forum=16 - rather than start a new thread. But welcome to this forum. Mary
Posted on: 3 Apr 12:02:17
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Re: NEW PHANTOM MOVIE! We need your help!! |
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Maybe related to the fact that the post went up on April 1st? I don't believe anything I read today...
Posted on: 1 Apr 10:46:53
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Re: What are you reading? |
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Paula, I hope it's better than her Pride & Prejudice spin-off, "Pemberley", because I found that a huge disappointment.
Posted on: 29 Mar 11:09:52
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Re: What are you reading? |
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A favourite of mine since I was about 12. I hope you enjoy it too.
Posted on: 29 Mar 8:26:16
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Re: The crazy/random/hyperactivity thread! For those who are hyper and random! |
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In another forum that I browse, someone remarked that though Britain and America nominally have the same language, some words and phrases change their meanings. I contributed a few examples, which maybe people here would find amusing:
"Knock someone up" Britain - knock on their door in the morning to wake them. America - make them pregnant. "Bum" Britain - marginally rude word for the part of the body you sit on. America - tramp or beggar Hence... the theatre expression for selling tickets in Britain is "bums on seats." Usually translated in America as "buns on seats." "Faggot" - local expression in parts of Britain for a meatball. Hence - snack bar offering meatballs in a bread roll as "Faggots in a bun" can be misinterpreted by Americans... Mary
Posted on: 28 Mar 9:11:10
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Re: Seductive stories!! (warning NC-17) |
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Well, I thought it was reasonable, for our inventive inventor.
 Carrying this to its logical conclusion, I think he'd make a complete new doll, leaving the wooden one to make its undressed appearance in "Final Lair." And he'd probably have to have a duplicate wedding gown made, because I can see the first one getting a bit rumpled... Mary
Posted on: 22 Mar 5:55:53
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Re: Seductive stories!! (warning NC-17) |
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Di, I honestly never gave that a thought!
But I did wonder how many people on here would like an Erik doll to play with...  Mary
Posted on: 21 Mar 16:17:24
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Re: Seductive stories!! (warning NC-17) |
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Just a trivial little one-shot that appealed to me...
Practice Makes Perfect Once again, the Phantom checked every detail of the bridal chamber. When he brought Christine here, all must be perfect. The huge, sumptuous bed, regularly aired and re-made to pristine smoothness. The candles, the drapery, the pot-pourri… only the fresh flowers would have to wait until the wedding day. Surely not long now. He returned to his living room, and studied the beautiful wedding gown, displayed on its mannequin. He had made the mannequin himself, starting with a plain wooden one, but carefully sculpting the face and hands in a soft, flesh-like material. The Phantom could make many things, but gowns were not included in his talents. He had searched long to find the expert seamstress able to make this to his design, to the measurements he had obtained by stealth, creeping into Christine's dressing room while she was on stage, to measure her own garments. He tweaked a fold of the skirt to drape more elegantly, looked into the face which he had made to be so much like hers, adjusted the fall of the long curls over the model's shoulders. His hand trailed over the silk-clad bosom, imagining… With sudden urgent need, he hastily opened his clothing, seized his erection and, moaning softly, squeezed and rubbed himself to climax, turning aside so that the spurting seed fell harmlessly on the floor. Oh, Christine, when… when?! He dropped limply into a chair, dissatisfied with himself. All very well when he was pleasing himself, but such haste would never do on a wedding night with a virgin bride. He must learn to be patient. He had tried, more than once. In his own bedroom, he had recalled things he had read, that a man could slow himself down by thinking of ice and snow, or going through the multiplication table in his head. But with Christine's image before him, how could he keep his mind on arithmetic or weather forecasts? And how much harder it would be (in both senses!) when he really held her in his arms. How could he prepare himself to keep control, in a situation of such unprecedented delight? He went back to the mannequin, took its warm hand in his own, pressed his smooth cheek to the soft, yielding cheek of the beautiful face. With this nearness, already his need was reasserting itself. But suddenly he gasped, desire forgotten in a moment of inspiration. He remembered how carefully he had re-crafted the face and hands… but perhaps he had stopped too soon… Stepping back, he looked the model over, from head to foot. Yes, it could be done. And then he would be able to practise, properly, for his wedding night. **********
Posted on: 21 Mar 11:34:16
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Re: The crazy/random/hyperactivity thread! For those who are hyper and random! |
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Quote:
If you're a Baker fan, did you see him in "Chronicles of Narnia"? That's a production made by BBC TV, some years before the big-budget movies came out, and with less sophisticated special effects. But "The Silver Chair" (not my favourite of the books) was a wonderful TV series, mainly due to Tom's portrayal of Puddleglum. There's a clip on YouTube here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wh55SzhLkmc Mary
Posted on: 18 Mar 12:58:10
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Re: Hooray, I have seen/am going to see the stage show. Reviews and comments here, please |
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Thanks for adding the video link to the Olivier Awards thread, stillphosphor. That was really nice to watch.
Unless one of the moderators says otherwise, I think the best place to discuss your book would be the Compositions section, here: http://www.phantomoftheopera.com/modu ... bb/viewforum.php?forum=16 People post complete stories here as well, but it's the "fiction" slot, so it seems appropriate. Mary
Posted on: 16 Mar 2:31:56
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Re: Hooray, I have seen/am going to see the stage show. Reviews and comments here, please |
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stillphosphor, I have already created a thread on this subject, here: http://www.phantomoftheopera.com/modu ... hp?topic_id=14911&forum=9 - because even if people don't want to vote, the little promotional video with the London cast is enjoyable to watch. But you're right, time is running out, so I'm glad you put up the reminder. Thanks for the show report. And welcome to the forum. Mary
Posted on: 16 Mar 1:12:19
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Re: Eternal Flame (NC-17) |
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I wasn't aware of any falling-off, but with more than a week between sections, (and reading other things in between) I do lose the place a bit. (That's why I don't start posting a story until it's finished - then I can put up a chapter a day.) I was wishing that at least one of the people in the park could be sensitive to what was happening, and come up and wish our family good day, without making a circus of it. It'll be interesting to see the reaction to Erik unmasked. Mary
Posted on: 14 Mar 13:14:57
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